{{ urbania's void - chapter 40
...drove through ghosts to get here (day forty / +45)
Jacen hadn’t seen Tenel Ka since they all returned to Hapes. It was the point where Luke and his parents -- along with Danni, Ghent and the others who helped with the Mindmaps – had been told to rendezvous with the people returning from the Urbania. They had put Raynar Thul in a holding cell, and while all the others were giving their own accounts to officials and getting patched up, Jacen and Zekk were being questioned by Luke and Mara as to what exactly happened.
They told them everything.
“And we found that Ryled Mirdele, the guy that our Mindmaps were hunting as a bounty, he was supposed to be in prison because he murdered his children.” Zekk was talking animatedly with his hands, Jacen nodding in agreement. “And he had been the one housing Welk and Lomi Plo.”
“What happened to him?”
Zekk and Jacen looked at each other, Jacen speaking up. “I had the Kaidin Mindmap on, I killed him. It was my first instinct with that thing on.”
Luke nodded and Jacen could tell he had many thoughts zipping through his mind at that point.
“Sorry to barge in…”
Glancing over, they saw Gadell standing in the doorway of the office they had been seated in.
“No problem, Admiral. What’s going on?” Mara leaned back in her chair, which she turned slightly to face the man.
“I just came in to say that the transition went smooth. No one even knew that Tenel Ka was gone. Master Skywalker—” he motioned to Luke. “—had been asking about it.”
Jacen perked up at the mention of the Queen Mother and the chatter that the others were currently participating in fell on his dead ears. All he could hear was buzzing – his mind was too busy racing back to thoughts of her. They had all slept on the way back to Hapes, and he had sat up watching her for awhile. Once they returned, he was instantly taken to his parents and then to his Aunt and Uncle, along with Zekk. He hadn’t seen her since they got back – this was also the first time he had seen Gadell since then.
He looked proud and calm. Corellian hells, the man looked clean.
Jacen threw a glance to Zekk, who looked the same. He hadn’t seen either of them that well rested and full of life since over a standard month before that point.
“What should we do with the Mindmaps?”
Jacen suddenly heard Zekk ask the question and snapped out of his reverie, peering over to his friend. He was leaning forward, his hands joined in front of him, in his lap. His black hair was tied loosely at the nape of his neck, still cut in a jagged fashion for Tessick, and his green eyes were wide, fingers leaving their place in his lap to bat his bangs from his field of vision. Gadell stood behind him, also awaiting the answer to Zekk’s question. He was dressed in his Admiral’s uniform, hands clasped behind his back, boots to his knees, chin up. His azure eyes were calm – Jacen finally looked over to the Masters. He was wondering the same thing his friends were. They had returned the satchel containing the Mindmap tray to Danni. But as far as he knew, Zekk and Gadell were still in possession of Tessick and Khee – which meant Tenel Ka probably still had Rez.
“We’ll take care of the ones you brought back from the Urbania, which includes the ones we assigned to everyone else. But you two and Tenel Ka can do what you want with the ones you had. I mean, they should be destroyed somehow but you can figure out how. Those people need to be put to rest,” Luke was quiet, his fingers steepled over his chest as he sat up straight in his chair, his elbows propped on the arms. He glanced to Jacen. “You said you got rid of Kaidin’s?”
Jacen felt himself mumbling, his voice echoing in his head. “I destroyed it and threw it out over the city.” He hadn’t told anyone what he saw in the alleyway after he destroyed it.
Luke and Mara both nodded, understanding the sudden numbness they felt from him in the Force. They looked almost horrified when he had told them what he had been so close to doing to Tenel Ka with the Mindmap on.
“The three of you should get some rest. We have a lot to talk to Raynar about. We’ll probably get started in the next day or two, to give you all some time to recuperate. How does that sound?” Mara stood after she spoke, Luke standing beside her.
The three men nodded and looked to each other once the Masters had left the room.
“What should we do with these things?” Zekk held out his hand, a tiny transparent device glinting in the dim light of the office.
They sat in silence, staring at it.
It was dusk that evening and Jacen found himself taking a stroll through the gardens behind the Fountain Palace. He had retreated to his assigned quarters earlier to rest, but had spent most of the time staring at the ceiling. When he woke up from a light nap, he had rummaged through the bag of clothes he had brought back from the Urbania and took a quick shower before putting on one of the more simple outfits he had purchased for Kaidin. A pair of baggy, dark green pants and a black long-sleeved shirt – simple and surprisingly comfortable. He had never worn either item as Kaidin, but probably would have if they had used the Mindmaps longer.
Jacen thought to himself as he wandered past the Strike Team grove, he was lucky they didn’t use the Mindmaps any longer than they did. He had been having a hard enough time as Kaidin as it was. The man had been seeping into his brain and attempting a takeover. It had shocked him. Mindmaps weren’t supposed to do that, were they?
He stopped and retraced his steps, peering into the Strike Team grove. Raynar’s memorial had been removed at some point, either right after Jacen had left or while he was on the Urbania. His gaze moved from image to image, each face still beaming, even after all of this.
Thinking back to the Mindmaps they had seen, especially the one of his little brother, Jacen had to look away from the portraits. He felt like he had failed them somehow, like he was the one who let all of this happen.
“Hey.”
Quickly wiping his watery eyes, Jacen spun around to look to the entrance of the grove. There was a man standing there, leaning against the entrance arch, arms crossed, a tiny trace of a smile on his face. His green eyes narrowed slightly and took on a glazed appearance as he peered behind Jacen to all the faces of their fallen comrades.
“Zekk. Hey.”
He looked back to Jacen, pushing himself off the vine-covered arch and moving forward, clapping the Solo on the back. “You should come to the lake.”
“What’s going on there?”
“We’re gonna get rid of our Mindmaps.”
Jacen tilted his head in a questioning sort of fashion. “Why the lake?”
“We figured it would be a good place. Since Tessick was… well, killed there and Rez and Khee always wanted to move to Hapes. Putting them to rest and letting them be where they want to be, or something.” He took his hand away from Jacen’s back and shoved them both into the pockets of the outfit he was wearing. One of the one’s he had bought to wear as Tessick. “I don’t know. It was Tenel Ka’s idea. I thought it was sweet and it worked.”
Jacen nodded, the corner of his lips slightly upturning at the mention of the Queen Mother. He reached a hand out and ran some fingers over the shoulder of Zekk’s clothes, brushing off a piece of lint. “Nice threads.”
Chuckling, Zekk threw his arms out to the side as if he was showing the outfit off to Jacen. “You know, Tessick dressed kind of comfortably. I might have to pick up some tips from him.”
They both shared a laugh, which was something simple that Jacen didn’t know felt so perfect until he hadn’t done it with anyone in weeks.
“Come on,” Zekk finished, clasping Jacen’s arm for a moment before moving towards the archway.
With one last glance to the faces in the grove, he gave them a solemn nod and followed Zekk out towards Karina Lake.
The water was cool and refreshing; and the area around the lake smelled of blossoming flowers. Gadell sat beside Tenel Ka on the shore, two sets of barefeet splayed out in front of them. Their legs rested in the sand while their heels sat in at the waters edge, in the slowly lapping water.
“You know, I did not think I would ever say something like this.” She paused, leaning back and resting her right hand in the sand. “I am happy to be back.”
Feigning a sarcastic expression of shock, Gadell gasped, shifting his eyes over to the Queen Mother. “Never. You’re kidding, right? I mean, did you really want to dive back into this mess of politics and nobles and slimy consorts?”
Tenel Ka turned her head towards him, her gray eyes glinting in the rising moons. “Hmmm, maybe I am just happy to be back because I know Jacen is okay. Because now that I think about it…”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Wrapping his right arm around Tenel Ka, he pulled her closer to him. She rested her head on his shoulder, the soft material of the dark multi-colored tunic he wore brushing up against her cheek. It was the same tunic he wore the night they had found out Zekk and Jacen were the ones in the Tessick and Kaidin Mindmaps. She fiddled with the strands of fabric wrapped around his arms, exhaling a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding.
It felt good to be back because it was a chance to relax, even if it was only for a little bit – before jumping back into her duties as Queen Mother.
Her eyes fell out across the lake, drifting up towards the sky, about to get lost in her own thoughts until she heard laughing behind her. She recognized it instantly, it was Zekk. She didn’t bother shifting out of Gadell’s grasp as he approached behind them. There was another presence with him. She could sense it; and with little prodding, she knew who it was.
Finally moving, she and the Admiral peered behind them to see Jacen Solo and Zekk Arkenna staring down, both dressed in Tessick and Kaidin’s clothes.
“Hi.” It was all Jacen could stammer out at the sight of Tenel Ka, relaxed and cleaned up, her cheeks a tad rosy from the breeze and her eyes wide and tranquil.
“Hey there,” Gadell grinned, catching Zekk’s eye. The two of them shared an inward laugh at Jacen’s sudden reversion to bumbling teenage awkwardness.
Tenel Ka nodded in return to Jacen, stifling a tiny smile at his sudden alarmingly low level of comfort. Gadell stood, Tenel Ka following suit. He pulled two Mindmaps from his pocket and handed one to the Queen Mother, glancing over to Zekk as he clenched his own device in his fist. “Did you bring yours?”
A gloved hand was pulled out of a pocket on the jacket he wore, and in it was the Tessick Mindmap. “Of course.” Glancing around to the three people in front of him, he sighed. “Let’s get this over with and put these to rest for good. They’ve caused enough grief.” His eyes landed on Jacen with the last sentence.
Once their gazes met, Jacen nodded to Zekk and motioned behind him towards the edge of the lake where Tessick had died. A big gnarled tree seemed to stand out on the shoreline. “I’m just gonna go over there and sit while you guys do this.”
They were all in agreement and Jacen turned away from them, a shaky exhale escaping his lips. When Zekk told him what they were going to do, his mind protested a bit, telling him to turn back and go inside to take a nap or something. He had thrown his Mindmap out over a city, sprinkling it down into the sea of neon lights. Kaidin had hurt these people, these people they were Mindmapped as. And Jacen had hurt these people as Kaidin, the people under the Mindmaps. He felt like he was intruding on something he shouldn’t be allowed to see.
As he settled against the rough bark of the tree, Jacen slid to the ground, throwing his legs out in front of him. His hands were set in his lap and fiddling with one another, the fingertips shifting nervously around. He debated leaving at that moment, but once his eyes were drawn to the lake, he couldn’t.
Zekk was waist deep in the water now, his hands clasped around the device. He crushed it between his palms and brought his joined hands under the water, letting them slowly move apart. The pieces of the Mindmap floated to the surface above Zekk’s hands and he lingered for a moment before gasping suddenly. Tenel Ka and Gadell had been wading towards him, and stopped to look to where he was peering, down at his hands.
“Tessick Ladreen…” Gadell murmured.
He was floating above Zekk’s hands in the water, his back across Arkenna’s splayed palms. His eyes were closed and his expression was serene, but seconds later, they opened, staring right up to Zekk. A halo of damp, dark red hair floated around his face like a spreading pool of blood and in a sharp contrast, his brown eyes were extremely calm. He was at peace.
“Thank you.” The breeze echoed those quiet words, carrying them around the lake and after a few heartbeats, the body in Zekk’s arms vanished.
Jacen went rigid against the tree. They all had just seen Tessick for a moment and that led him to believe that he really did see Kaidin back on the Urbania. It unsettled him briefly, but he let go of the thought and leaned back against the bark again. They were being put to rest and maybe when he saw Kaidin, the man was just thanking him. That had to be it, right?
Zekk was exchanging nervous glances with Tenel Ka and Gadell, his hands still out in front of him, fingers wide apart and moving under the surface of the water.
“That was…” Tenel Ka started, shifting through the waist deep water to Zekk’s sides. Her words drifted off into the cool dusk air, whatever word she was going to use to describe the ordeal escaping her at that point in time.
Gadell was on the other side of Zekk, his fingers wrapped around the other man’s wrist. “You okay?”
Zekk nodded slowly. He had seen Tessick. And it was a Tessick that Zekk knew he wasn’t hiding behind. It was really him.
The green-eyed man shook himself from his trance and looked between the others, finally bringing his hands up to break the surface of the water. “Go on, your turn.” He backed up a bit, his toes meeting the sand and smooth rocks on the bottom of the lake. His eyes were still fairly wide as he watched the Queen Mother and the Hapan Admiral ahead of him. They were staring at each other, an expression of uncertainty pasted on their visages.
Gadell took his Mindmap between the thumb and pointer finger of his left hand and squeezed them together, flinching lightly at the shards pricking his skin once the device broke. Tenel Ka was facing him cracking her own Mindmap between the fingertips of her right hand. As he submerged his fingers under the water and let the pieces float from his skin, Tenel Ka let them all fall into her palm and then blew them off towards the right. The shards flew from her palm and seemed to gently drift down to the water, landing on the surface before sinking towards the bottom, following Gadell’s.
Her gaze moved to his after that and she nodded solemnly. A motion which Gadell was about to return until his eyes caught something behind her, up on a jagged rock at the opposite edge of the shore Jacen was seated on. He exhaled shakily, motioning with his chin for them to look. Once they did, they saw two people standing atop the surface of the stone. A blonde man with wide viridian eyes and a female in white and black, cerulean hair fanned out wildly behind her.
Khee Verelen and Rez Nyena.
Khee clasped his hands together and bowed while Rez was beside him waving her hand. “Thanks!” She called out, her words taking on the same ethereal quality that Tessick’s had. Khee’s expression showed the same amount of gratitude, but they didn’t hear his voice until he turned to Rez and grabbed her by shoulders.
“We’re here.” It was all he said before they vanished, leaving the lake quiet except for the hushed breeze that skated along the water.
Tenel Ka turned back to the two men behind her, her jaw hanging open and her mouth trying to form words. Her mind told her to say something, anything. But she knew nothing she could say would justify what just happened. Tessick, Khee, Rez… she wondered if Jacen had seen Kaidin. Before she could look over to him though, Gadell wrapped her up into his arms.
“I’m glad this is all over.”
She responded by throwing her right arm around him. Tenel Ka knew he was speaking of everything that had happened. His ordeal with Ta’a Chume, Jacen vanishing from her life, the Mindmaps, the Urbania. She could tell for once he just wanted to get back to his everyday job with the Fleets and the Force Training. “Me too,” her breath shuddered in his ear and she could feel a streak of wetness down her cheek. A single tear she didn’t even know she had been holding back.
Once Gadell let go of her and pulled back, he shot her a pleasant smile before looking over to Zekk who had approached them. He held out his hand to the other man. “We did it.”
Zekk grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug, chuckling. “Yeah, if it wasn’t for us, who knows where these two would be right now.” As he let go of Gadell, who was laughing now, and turned to Tenel Ka, he wiped his right hand on his still dry shirt and thumbed the tear from her jawline. “Your highness.”
The Queen Mother shifted forward and pulled Zekk to her, moving her right arm around his neck. “Thank you.” She felt him tense up in her grasp as he let his arms settle around her back, returning the hug.
He let one of his hands pat her back before taking a step backwards and looking into her eyes again. “Anytime.” He tilted his head slightly, motioning behind him towards the shore where Jacen sat. “He should be fine, he’s still a bit shaken up after this whole thing.”
Finally letting her eyes land on Jacen, she felt a small grin dance across her lips at the sight of him. He was sitting against a tall tree, legs crossed at the ankles in front of him and arms crossed over his chest. His head was resting against the trunk, lulled slightly to the side, with his eyes closed and his lips pursed. “Understandable.” The word was an absent whisper.
The General had been watching the whole time, his mind not letting him forget the last image he saw of Kaidin with a smirk and a wink on the Urbania. He made sure to drill into his own head to ask Danni and the others exactly how those devices worked. The fact that it seemed like their very souls were trapped in them didn’t sit well with him. It was like they were raising people from the dead. That was when Jacen Solo dozed off against the tree, his head back and his mind wandering.
He was jolted awake, what seemed like moments later, by laughing and yelling. He knew it sounded like too many people to be the three he had been with that afternoon.
Looking up across the lake, where he could make out a group of people approaching. The lake wasn’t so big that he couldn’t make out who they were though. He could pick out each one exactly. He saw his sister and Tahiri, Tekli, Tesar, Kyp, Lowie, Jag and Alema. They had probably just gotten out of one of their meetings or something; something that he and Gadell, Tenel Ka and Zekk had probably already been through. He could hear their voices as they stopped at the edge of the lake and he could hear his sister talking to the three that were in the water.
“We were wondering where you were. Mom told us you guys were down here and we thought we would all come to see what was up.” Jaina smiled. “Oh, and Prince Isolder said he would get the kitchens to make us all a special dinner tonight.”
“Mmmm,” Gadell was floating on his back near Tenel Ka, his eyes now open and on the group of people standing at the edge of the lake. “When Prince Isolder says something about getting the kitchens to make food, you know it’ll be good. He’s got great taste. Prepare to be full.”
Zekk continued to tread water in one of the deep sections, his stomach grumbling. “I’m fine with that. Maybe the drinks won’t be poisoned this time either.”
“Yeah,” Kyp was busy taking off his boots to join them in the water. “Count me in too. And move Zekk, I’m coming in. It looks way too relaxing to pass up.”
There was a chorus of agreement behind him and Tahiri was the first one to jump in, Gadell grinning to her. Everyone else had to waste time taking their shoes off. Jag took his off and sat on a rock near the side, dangling his feet in. He couldn’t help but sit with his back straight up and his hands in his lap.
“Relax, Fel!” Zekk called to him from the water below. “This isn’t a briefing or anything.”
Moments passed before Jag finally crumpled to a fairly comfortable position, his hands splayed out on the rock behind him, his head tilted up to the sky. Zekk had smiled and turned to talk to Kyp and Gadell.
Tesar slid into the water, instantly going under and shifting around. He was a quick swimmer and began to try to show Tekli how to move easily in the water. Jaina and Alema were near Tenel Ka, the three of them wading around and talking about what would happen on the Urbania now that Ryled was dead. Zekk had splashed Tahiri at this point, who hit him, along with Gadell and Kyp, with her return fire. It started something, which led to dunkings, splashings, and people being pulled under.
The chorus of laughter caused Jacen to chuckle just a bit. He was still exhausted and surprisingly, still a bit shaken up from everything that had happened on the Urbania; to know that something could take over his mind so easily…
His eyes caught Jag’s who was still seated on the rock across the way. Fel let a shadow of a grin crossed his face as he shook his head slowly, his eyes motioning towards the pool of sudden immaturity in front of him. Jacen returned the expression, his smile growing – that was a sight to behold. All those people in the lake acting like kids. He was the most shocked by Tenel Ka, who was near the edge of the childish battle, but snuck in a splash or two whenever someone got too close. Jacen knew there was no way she was letting herself get dunked or pulled under.
Jacen’s head lulled back against the tree, his fingers picking at the hems of his sleeves as he watched her. She was laughing, her eyes bright and her hair damp, making it appear to be a dark shade of crimson. She spun away from Gadell who was slowly treading over to her and she caught sight of Jacen. She peered to him for a second or two, before hearing something behind her and turning into a wave of water, courtesy of her Admiral. Instantly, she shoved her arm forward, sending a small wall back at him, falling into a battle for a few moments – which she promptly seemed to win when Gadell got a mouthful of water. Letting it dribble out of his mouth, he backed away from her with his hands up.
She stopped splashing at that point, her features softening. Her eyes had moved from Gadell, who was in front of her and now pushing water towards Zekk and Tahiri, past his shoulder, to Jacen. He was sitting against a tree by the shore, almost by the spot where Tessick had drowned, his legs out in front of him, the hunter green pants marred by bits of sand. The black shirt he wore clung to his skin, the sleeves pulled up over his hands, leaving only the tips of his fingers poking out. His hands were in his lap and his eyes were locked on the sky – he looked like he was in his own little galaxy, but she had known he had been watching the whole ordeal.
“Jacen,” she called to him calmly, her voice carrying easily over all the laughing and splashing behind her.
He broke himself from his trance and peered over to her, reaching up to his face to brush back strands of brown hair that was still Kaidin’s length. His eyes widened a bit, as if he was asking what she needed without saying anything.
“Come on,” Tenel Ka responded, moving towards the shore.
He waved his hands and shook his head slightly.
She was out of the water now, stalking up the slope of the shore, her toes digging into the pure sand. The simple pieces of Rez’s clothing she had on were soaking now. The few layers of white taffeta under the long, black puffy skirt were dripping what seemed like waterfalls onto the sand. It was something Tenel Ka would never wear on her own, but tonight was about the Mindmaps and the people they had been acting as – the people they later found out had died quite violently. Their memories needed to be put to rest.
Standing in front of him, Tenel Ka reached down to him, holding out her right hand. “Please?”
After a few moments hesitation, Jacen took her hand and stood on his own, following her back into the lake.
The water was surprisingly warm and seemed to invite Jacen further in, towards the gathering of people in the middle. They were all still shouting and drenching each other, not paying any mind to anything but dodging waves and handfuls of water. His eyes scanned the group of people then shifted to Tenel Ka, who had turned around to face him, water up to their chests. He could feel his toes digging into the wet sand under his feet and the water soaking into his clothes; it was somehow oddly comforting. He wanted to say something to her… anything. But nothing would come to him; all he could manage to do was stare into her eyes.
She didn’t respond to his silence with words, but she stood on her tiptoes and planted a kiss on his lips, her right arm wrapping around his neck. His arms instantly found their way around her waist as he returned the kiss, which wasn’t too long, but had all their emotions fed into it.
“I missed you,” she whispered, as she broke her lips away, setting her forehead against his. There was a feeling welling inside her as she spoke those words – she had definitely missed him. He was gone, and when they found him, he hadn’t been himself. To have him in front of her and acting like himself; it was perfect.
“I missed me too.” Jacen threw her his half smile, tightening his grip around her.
And for once in their lifetimes, everything seemed right.
| 