{{ simply being loved - chapter 26
"General, we cannot let you in. It is bad enough we have to let someone in to give the Queen Mother her dinner. She could still have poison in her system and no one needs to take the risk of getting themselves poisoned. I am sure she will be fine tomorrow. So just run along General."
"Right." Jacen Solo wandered away from the duo of female guards blocking the entrance to Tenel Ka's quarters. As he rounded the corner, he began running as fast as possible to the end of the hall, and slamming into the door of Anhaje's room, he started banging on it. "Anhaje?!"
The handmaiden threw the door open with her left hand, her right hand full of documents she had to get the Queen Mother to look at. "Yes, Jacen? Would you like pretty shoes this time too?"
"No, but I need the robe again," Jacen laughed.
"What?!" Anhaje's voice lowered to a hiss, as she set the papers on a table by the door. "Jacen, you said I would get an explanation."
Jacen stood at the open door, arms crossed over his chest, a faint smile on his face. Anhaje retreated back into her chambers and found one of her handmaiden robes. "Come on, explain." She handed the robe to him.
As he pulled it over his head, his smile widened and as he situated the robe, he glanced up into her wide, quizzical eyes.
"I'm in love, Anhaje."
"Anyone could have told you that, Solo."
He laughed, one of most joyous laughs she had ever heard out of him. He was obviously incredibly happy about something.
Probably the fact that this whole mess is over, Anhaje thought to herself.
"It's the only way I can get in."
"I figured as much." Anhaje nodded and stepped back into her chambers, a sly smile on her face, "Now go on. Do not keep her highness waiting."
Tenel Ka was still, lying on her bed face down, her visage buried in the mound of pillows at the head of her bed. Boredom and a slight depression had settled over her. She wanted to speak with Jacen, she wanted to see him; but this quarantine they had hanging over her head gave her no freedom to. She knew it was for the best, since she still might be poisoned, but it still made her feel tired and a bit annoyed.
She heard her door slide open and she heightened her senses a small amount, just to keep herself on guard. The Force told her it was a shy person, a handmaiden, just bringing her dinner. She couldn't really feel the handmaiden out in the Force, nor did she really want to. Tenel Ka actually felt lazy for once.
Her stern yet fragile voice sounded, muffled by the pillows, "Just set it on the table."
The handmaiden stared at the Queen Mother, who was sprawled out on top of the silk sheets of her bed with her face buried in her feathery pillows. Placing the plate of food on the vanity table, the handmaiden then approached the bed and sat down on the edge of it, hovering masculine hands over her tense back.
Tenel Ka sensed the handmaiden there and rolled over quickly, kicking and smacking both hands away and in an instant she was sitting up, breathing heavily.
"Ow." The handmaiden rubbed his hands together and shrugged the hood off of his head. "You're still vicious when it comes to hand-to-hand, aren't you?"
"Jacen?"
"Sorry I had to sneak in again. The guards are really keeping the strict rule about the quarantine. I'm surprised they even let anyone in to give you your dinner." A smile crossed his face.
Tenel Ka sat on her cushy bed, her back to the pillows that she had been breathing into. She was clothed in a simple black nightgown, made of Hapan silk, as always. The neckline of the gown drooped in a half circle shape and the straps of it were a few inches thick. The way she was seated on the bed let the slit up the left side of the gown part, showing off the tan flesh of her leg. Her right arm was resting in her lap and her cloudy eyes sparkled with delight at the fact that she was better now.
"It was kind of funny. The guards were..." Jacen hesitantly continued speaking as Tenel Ka slid forward a bit. "...they were..." His breath was being drawn in at deeper intervals as he felt her legs stretch out behind his back. Jacen was seated on the edge of the bed, his body facing the door and Tenel Ka was seated perpendicular to him, behind him, the side of her left leg, brushing the small of his back.
"They were what, Jacen?" She inquired this with a matter of fact tone, not even realizing the effect that she was having on him.
"They... uhm... they're standing outside. Yeah."
"And that is funny?"
"Mmmhmm."
Now that Tenel Ka was back to normal, Jacen felt those shadowmoths fluttering around in his stomach again. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, so many things he wanted to do to her. And here he was, frozen in his tracks.
"Jacen..."
He turned his head to the left and let his eyes lock on her stormy orbs.
"Thank you for helping me."
Her words seemed to break a gate inside of Jacen. The gate that kept him from action and intelligence while he was around Tenel Ka. She was leaning forward, her face roughly a foot away from his. There was a hint of a smile across it and Jacen's new mission was to widen that smile.
"You're very welcome." Jacen turned sideways on the bed, pulling his left leg up onto the edge. He was now seated parallel to Tenel Ka; he took advantage of it and brought his hand up to her face, brushing locks of wavy copper hair out of her eyes. Without warning he pulled Tenel Ka into a hug and surprisingly she responded, wrapping her right arm around Jacen's neck. "I'm so glad you're alright." His last words were a whisper directed through strands of red hair, into Tenel Ka's ear.
Tenel Ka silently responded by nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck and tightening her grip on him. Her warm breath slid down the back of his neck, across his skin and it caused Jacen to tense up. He could've sat like that forever, with Tenel Ka wrapped up in his arms. As they sat in silence, just enjoying each others presence, Jacen could feel his head getting light.
"Tenel Ka..."
She pulled back from him and looked into his eyes, which were fluttering between open and closed.
"Jacen? Are you alright?"
His breath left him as well as his coherency as he fell into Tenel Ka, his head sliding down her chest. He was out cold.
Jacen opened his eyes and found himself curled up in bed, an unfamilar bed. The room was freezing, the walls were metal, the atmosphere was eerily empty but he could hear a faint mechanical humming, that seemed to come from every corner of the room. An organic sound joined the fray as he heard a sleepy moan.
"Mmm... Kaidin..." A female voice. "You awake?"
"Yes." He looked over to the female. Someone he'd never seen before. In the dim light of the room, the dark blue in her hair stood out as she moved her head and threw her right arm and right leg over him. With a content sigh, she settled against his body and spoke before falling back asleep. "Go to sleep."
A flash of light disrupted everything and after that, the world faded back into view.
He was staring at a man, who was glaring back at him with an equally serious expression. The man looked familiar, but he couldn't place his finger on who it was. The man's hair was tied back into a loose piece of string, it was a dark red shade and his eyes took on a dull shade of brown.
"Kai, this isn't going to work."
"'Sick, it'll work. Trust me." His voice sounded like his own. But why was everyone calling him Kaidin? And who were all these people?
Another flash.
Something he recognized finally showed itself in his vision.
A woman. Tenel Ka. She was standing on the balcony of her bedroom, staring out over the gardens.
The first person view showed Jacen stalking out of the dressing room and over to her, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her close.
That's the exact instant the vision ended.
"Hello friend Jacen." Tenel Ka was seated beside him on the bed. He was lying down, with his head on the pillows. She must've placed him there while he was out. She turned and looked down at him. "What happened?"
"How long was I unconscious?"
"Only a few minutes."
"I had these strange visions. People I had never seen before." Jacen sat up, placing his right hand on his forehead.
"I am sure it was nothing too serious. Maybe just a little buzz from your bacta treatment." She nodded.
Jacen took the awkward silence after that to his advantage and leaned towards Tenel Ka, reaching his right hand up to caress her cheek. They automatically drew closer to each other and their lips were mere inches away from meeting when Jacen's comlink went off.
"Kriff," Jacen breathed.
Tenel Ka chuckled slightly at Jacen's blatent curse and watched as he slid past her off of the bed and began towards the dressing room.
"Excuse me, your highness."
She nodded regally and stood up herself, making her way out to the balcony. Jacen yanked the comlink out of his pocket and answered it, annoyed at the fact that he was that close to seriously kissing Tenel Ka and the thing went off.
"Solo here."
"Jasa. We're all being shipped out. Something's wrong; and the NR and the GA got called."
Jacen's feelings plunged, "What happened?"
"We don't know much yet, but intel is going to brief everyone on Mon Cal. I believe there's going to be some missions, you know fun intelligence type missions. They were talking about sending some of us."
"Huh? Wha--- when do we have to leave?"
"Now."
"Damn."
"What?"
"Jaina, kriff, I don't even know where to begin. All my life I've thought about other people, helped them get what they want, helped them live their lives. For once I just want to think about myself!"
Jaina paused, something obviously clicking in her head. "Jacen, where are you?"
He sighed, "Tenel Ka's chambers."
"I'll stall for you for as long as I can. Let her know how you feel, buddy."
"Thank you, Jay."
"Anytime, Jace."
"Love you."
"Love you too. Meet us in the docking bay."
He clicked to comlink off and scowled. Tenel Ka was finally her normal self and Jacen was looking forward to spending the rest of his vacation with her, doing things friends do.
Doing things lovers do.
But it all changed after he got the call from Jaina. What was this new problem?
Don't think about that now.
Jacen slammed the comlink to the ground and stormed out of the dressing room. He had a limited amount of time and there would be no more stalling.
Emerging from the chambers onto the balcony, Jacen grabbed Tenel Ka's waist and spun her around. He only saw her surprised expression for a moment before he hungrily locked his lips with hers. His arms snaked all the way around her waist as her right hand rested on his skin, running across his cheek, down his neck and onto his chest. Her right arm found it's way around his neck as he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue past her lips. When their lips met, she had tensed up, but Jacen felt her melt in his arms. Something he never thought the cool, calculating Queen Mother was capable of.
Tenel Ka was backed up against the railing of the balcony with Jacen pressed up against her. His hands slid up and down over the thin silk of the gown and Jacen thrived in the way her sides and back were shaped. Every inch was perfect.
The connection between them through the Force was extremely strong and they could feel each others ripples of joy and excitement at the fact that after all of these years, they were sharing a real genuine kiss. One powered by love instead of poison, confusion, hatred and spite or just to prove a point.
Instantly regretting it, Jacen pulled his face back from hers. "I have to go." His breath was coming in heavy and hot bursts, towards Tenel Ka's lips, which just succeeded in drawing hers to his again, as they shared a momentary kiss.
"For what reason?"
Another quick kiss.
"Something's wrong, the NR and the GA have been called upon for intel missions... or something. We have to go get briefed. I don't know." His voice was a quiet whisper, as was hers.
"Jacen..."
"I don't want to leave."
"I do not want you to go either. But you have to."
"I don't want to be gone long. I want to spend time here, with you. I want you. I need you."
Jacen planted his lips on hers again and they shared one more passionate kiss before he tore himself from her grasp and pried his own hands away from her body. He began backing away from her towards the door, his hands dropping by his sides.
A soft whisper floated to her ears, "I love you."
Tenel Ka spun around and faced the endless night, her eyes shut and her face twisted into an expression of anger as she cursed whatever the problem was that was tearing the only man she ever loved away from her. Jacen felt the same level of anguish as he turned away from her, towards the quarter's door.
He pressed the button to open the door and before he left, he quietly pulled something out of his pocket and set it on the table beside Tenel Ka's now cold dinner. He gave one last look to the Queen Mother, whose back was facing him and he comforted her through their connection, promising her that they would see each other again. Then he vanished, on his trek towards the docking bay.
The item he left was the gort eggshell necklace. The cord was wrinkled and tangled and some of the shells were cracked, but it was still pretty much intact and when Tenel Ka turned around and saw it, the tears that were building up in her eyes began streaming down her cheeks. She didn't want Jacen to see her cry and luckily the tears came after he was gone.
Jacen felt the same about Tenel Ka as he stalked down the empty hallways, towards the docking bays. Stray tears found their way down his face as he sniffled, wiping his face with the back of his hand before entering the docking bay.
"Jacen," Zekk grabbed his shoulder from behind him and spun him around, "Whoa, Jacen. What happened?"
"I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave her."
Zekk's lips formed a line as he wrapped Jacen up in a hug, realizing what was wrong, "It'll be fine, man. We won't be gone that long." Zekk added the last part under his breath, "I hope."
Jacen began repeatedly hitting his forehead on Zekk's shoulderbone as Lowbacca walked up, instantly throwing his arms around Zekk and Jacen for reasons he didn't know. He could feel his friend's despair and he wanted to help out any way possible.
"You told her how you felt right?"
"I told her I love her."
"Good. She knows."
"She knows I love her, but I'll never be able to tell her how much. Something always comes and tries to ruin the kriffing universe when I'm about to." Jacen shook his head and buried it back into Zekk's shoulder.
Zekk chuckled remorsfully.
Back up on the balcony, Tenel Ka stared out to the night sky, tears drying on her cheeks. She wanted to physically be with Jacen as much as possible. She knew it couldn't happen though, anytime soon, with her stuck on Hapes and him out working with the New Republic and the Galactic Alliance.
As she gazed towards the sprawling galaxies above her, she thought back to minutes before, when her and Jacen had shared uncountable amounts of kisses, not wanting to let go of each other. She could still feel the touch of his hands, his breath on her skin... the way her heart jumped when his enticing pools of brandy-brown would follow her every move.
Stop it. Thinking about it is just going to make you feel worse. You have planets to rule. He promised he would be back. He promised you would see each other again.
She sighed, feeling weak. She hated when she felt weak. The stars twinkled above her as she thought about General Jacen Solo and his last words to her.
'I love you.'
Simply being loved is more than enough.
She told herself that as she drew in a deep breath and lost her mind to the heavens above.
| 