{{ simply being loved - chapter 18
A smirk crossed Tenel Ka's face as she watched him pass by her and press the panel beside his door, which then slid open. Jacen was trying not to look at her; her narrowed eyes and her casual stance. He stepped in his room, and she was right on his heels, shutting the door behind her.
Jacen Solo stared at the balcony doors, knowing Tenel Ka was behind him and knowing she had just shut the door. It was instinct that he knew. Instinct. Not the Force. Jacen let his eyes slide to a half lidded position as he searched out the presence behind him in the Force.
Nothing. He found nothing.
He could sense twinges of a person, his connection so strong with Tenel Ka that he could faintly sense it was her. But any other Force sensitive being would most likely not even know she was there.
There was an empty void standing behind General Jacen Solo. And it frightened him.
He knew talking wouldn't get through to her. He knew saying anything about Ta'a Chume would just be a waste of his breath. He knew the 'Jacen Solo' method wouldn't work this time. He attempted that too many times... and failed.
Two can play at your little sadistic game, my dear.
"What do you want?" He said it in the coldest tone he could muster, which to him, sounded about lukewarm. Jacen crossed his arms, letting his eyes open and he continued to let them linger on the balcony doors.
The void tumbled towards him, snaking her mismatched arms around his waist, "Oooo... getting a little feisty, are we not? I never knew you had it in you, Solo. I kind of like it. Keep going." Her fingers slipped under the bottom hem of his shirt and traced patterns along the smooth skin of his stomach, sliding across the sweat that still lingered on his body.
Instantly regretting it, Jacen spun around, grabbed Tenel Ka's upper arms and shoved her up against the wall beside the doorframe. The cringe in her expression almost made Jacen stop his fight back, but he couldn't. His body wouldn't let him. Emphasis fell on the first and last words, "What do you want?!"
"You should not ask me things like that."
He pressed his form against hers to hold her against the wall and he placed his hands on either side of her face, as he held her head back. "And why not, your highness?" His voice was lowered to a hiss.
Jacen felt Tenel Ka position her right knee between his legs as that smirk returned to her face. He knew she could bend him at her will at that point; because if her knee was shoved upwards a foot higher, Jacen would be in a world of pain.
"Because you do not know what I might do, Jacen Solo."
Jacen let go of her and backed away, scowling. Outwardly to Tenel Ka's prowess. And inwardly at the digust he felt for treating her this way and throwing her around. He spun away from her, walked over to his bed and rested his hands on the edge, dropping his head between his arms. He began to feel dizzy.
No. Not now. Please...
"Jacen." Her voice dripped mercury. His vision swam as Tenel Ka spun him around and threw him back onto the bed. His eyes found their way to the ceiling as he begged himself not to fall into one of his trances. The ceiling looked blurry; dark, far away and fuzzy.
please... i... no...
"You are jealous of Gadell, are you not?"
She crawled on top of the General's body and began to hungrily trail kisses from his neck to his lips.
And the last thing he could solidly distinguish before he fell into the oblivion of one of his visions was the fact that he had begun kissing Tenel Ka in return, wrapping his arms around her waist and rolling over on top of her.
Brandy-brown eyes shot open as Jacen Solo awoke in his bed.
His bed back at the Academy.
It felt incredibly real to him, it wasn't moving slowly, but he knew it had to be one of his visions. As he stood up and stretched, his mind was shocked. It felt odd being in the lanky fourteen year-old body again. He was staring down at his hands when an equally lanky Jaina Solo barged into his room, motioning to him.
"Come on, Jacen! New people are arriving today!" She slid the door shut on the way out and he could hear her footsteps growing quiet as she ran out towards the front of the temple.
Jaina spoke of the new Force sensitive recruits arriving at the Academy. Jacen was excited to meet everyone. He was always open to making friends, new people to test his jokes out on. Running out to the landing pad, they had already arrived. A group of people and beings from all different reaches of the galaxy, all standing around chatting, talking, laughing.
But there was one who stood out to Jacen. She stood in the front of the group, alone, her arms crossed. She had braided copper hair that hung around her shoulders like a mane of fire and her eyes were a cool gray, like the storms on Kamino. They hung open, narrowed and alert. She didn't look too shy or nervous about talking to anyone. She just looked like she didn't want to.
And that was young Jacen Solo's cue to talk to her, obviously.
"Hi! Welcome to Yavin 4! For a couple credits I can give you a tour," he flashed his father's grin.
Gray eyes just glared back at him.
Jacen stuck his left hand out in front of him, "I'm Jacen Solo."
The girl tilted her head and mirrored him, by placing her left hand in his and giving it a firm shake, "I am Tenel Ka."
"It's nice to meet---"
. . .he could feel and hear her purring in his ear as she pulled him closer to her. . .
"...you."
Conversation.
"And I will try not to be too hard on you, my friend Jacen."
"Hey, we're not supposed to be enemies, Tenel Ka. It's just a practice session."
"This is a fact. Even so, we are opponents."
"All right then --- let's go, Tenel Ka!"
Sparring.
"I figure we should do something about that lack of confidence you've got, Tenel Ka."
"I have no such lack."
Fighting.
"Hey, Tenel Ka. You know why a wampa snow monster has such long arms?"
Pause, spin, thrust.
"Because his hands are so far away from his body!"
"Your jokes cannot distract me, Jacen. I do not find them humorous."
"I know. I've been trying to get you to laugh ever since I've known you."
Feint, skip backwards, stumble.
"Hey! Good one!"
Her, fighting with both arms, gold light crashed onto viridian.
"Show off."
"You are a good opponent, Jacen Solo."
"You bet I am. Hope you don't expect me to surrender too easily."
"Perhaps you should."
And it all happened at once. Her lightsaber, the gold blade faltered. And as it fizzled out, Jacen heard a snap, a crack.
He never remembered hearing a crack.
. . .he could feel her hands sliding under his shirt, over his skin; the left cold, the right warm, her breath hot on his neck as his shirt finally came off. . .
"After all we've been through together, I'm not sure anything in the future could surprise me."
"Ah aha." Tenel Ka had planted her lips on his, letting them linger there for a few drawn out moments. "So... were you surprised, friend Jacen?"
. . .he could feel them sitting up now, her in his lap, her legs wrapped around him, his hands splayed across her back, palms on the fabric of her dress, fingers on her skin. the straps of her dress were hanging off of her shoulders now and his lips were dragging across her collarbone, down to the swell of her breasts. he could feel her fingers running through his hair, the heat between them rising as he began untying the strings on the back of her dress. . .
He found himself on top of her, losing himself in the folds of her crimson robe, in her eyes, in her presence. The flesh of her right arm met with the skin on the back of his neck as their lips joined and Jacen lost himself to lips that would only smile for him. The moment, ruined by a noise outside. And Jacen was back scaling the wall down the side of the Fountain Palace.
. . .he could feel himself throwing a quick glance at the door to make sure it was locked before he peered back to her, her sprawled out, leaning up on her elbows, staring at him. he could feel himself swallow a mouthful of dry air before climbing back over her and locking lips again. her arms around his neck, fingers digging into his back as skin touched skin, eyes closed, everything happening on a whim of graceless intensity and lust. he could feel everything, it was all a blur. . .
Everything had gone black.
no... no... nothing can surprise me anymore... nothing... nothing... NOTHING
Jacen Solo fell out of his bed, the cold air of his room floating over his skin. A slick layer of sweat covered his skin and a quick glance towards the window let him know it was nighttime. The last thing he remembered was Tenel Ka, pushing him over onto the bed, and him surrendering to her lips, pulling her agile body as close to him as he possibly could manage.
As he stared up to the ceiling, from his place on the ground, he shook his head and spoke quietly to no one.
"Nothing can surprise me anymore."
Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself to a sitting position on the ground and used his right hand to steady himself by holding onto the edge of the bed. He left a black handprint.
"Huh...?"
Looking down at both of his hands, he noticed that they were both covered in a inky black liquid but he had no time to wonder about that as he stood up and grabbed the bedsheet that had wrapped itself around him. Because his body was clothed in nothing but the tangled sheet.
"Kriff?!"
Jacen was surprised.
Drawing in deep breaths, Jacen fell onto the bed, dangling his legs over the side. He had no idea what had happened while he was lost in his contrasting collage of flashbacks. Hopefully nothing too drastic.
For minutes he sat there and tried to remember what had went on. Feelings were coming to him. Sensations. But did anything serious happen? Jacen Solo had a high set of morals. And this was not the way he wanted things to go.
Disgusted and appalled by the absurdity and awkwardness of their sexual display, Jacen sat on the edge of the bed and stared at his hands, which were covered in the black liquid that Jacen couldn't quite identify. His mind wasn't focused on anything remotely related to the liquid splashed across his hands, it was busy working around what had just taken place.
He could feel hybrid drops of his and Tenel Ka's sweat on his skin, he could still hear her low, playfully malicious growls, he could still make out in his mind's eye, the two of them rolling around on the bed together, halfway to murdering each other and halfway to ravishing each other.
Jacen had never been in such a heated situation, like the one that had just taken place. Part of him was nervous and hesitant about the whole ordeal... and part of him begged for more. He could openly admit to himself that he often toyed with dreams of sharing intimate moments with Tenel Ka; kissing, cuddling... and at the moment he was busy trying to run through what had just happened, like it was another one of his boyhood Academy fantasies.
SITHSPAWN -- PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER YOU IDIOT. THAT IS NOT TENEL KA.
Jacen, disgusted with himself for being so perverse, turned his mind to the matter at hand and looked down to the inky, onyx on his hands. Trying to discern it with the Force led him to the same conclusion he came up with when he tried to sense Tenel Ka.
A void.
Across the carpet and stone, to his door, a trail of black drops.
Jacen narrowed his eyes and began throwing on one of his casual flightsuits, trying to leave as much of the liquid on his hands as he could.
And with that he dashed to Danni Quee's quarters.
He found Tahiri Veila, Jaina Solo and Danni sitting around a table near the window as he stumbled into the room, holding his hands out in front of him, out of breath.
"What... what is this?"
The three women looked to him, all with equally confused expressions on their faces. The oldest blonde stood up and started across the room to him, where she wordlessly ran her left pointer finger across one of his palms. Danni then went over to the window to study it with her eyes, and the Force, hoping something would come out of it.
"Jacen, where were you all day?"
"Let me tell you, dear sister," Jacen stepped into Danni's refresher and washed his hands before seating himself down in her vacant chair. He relayed the story of how Anakin spoke to him (much to Tahiri's delight), and then he got to the part where Tenel Ka was at his room and he told them about the whole flashback vision and how he woke up; alone and...
"Naked?!" Jaina slammed her hands down on the table and pulled herself forward. "And you don't remember what happened?!"
"I... I can't..."
"What did she do to you?" Tahiri asked, as a quizzical expression landed on her face.
"I... I have no idea... I just---"
"Jacen," Danni slowly made her way over to the table, her eyes on the black liquid the whole time, "...it's obvious what this is. This is the poison from her arm."
"I expected that, but I don't---"
"No Jacen." Danni's face was pale. "This. It's some sort of poison, mixed with pure ysalamiri blood."
The void. The void in the liquid. The void in Tenel Ka.
And it was growing stronger.
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