{{ simply being loved - chapter 11
Silence hung in the air.
She began quietly, "I do not know what is wrong, Jacen. I do not feel like myse---"
Mid-sentence, she paused.
She shook her head.
"Why did you come up here?!" She hissed the words out, anger seething off of her. "I want to be alone!"
Jacen Solo took a step backwards, surprised by the sudden backlash. "I wanted to see you. I have some things to tell you about. The guards said you weren't allowing anyone in there," he pointed towards the door, "...so I found another way."
Jacen had pulled himself up the vines that worked their way up the outside walls of the Palace. It was a daunting task and he had to call on the Force to keep himself from falling in a few instances.
Blinking a couple times, Tenel Ka crossed her arms over her chest, tightening them.
A move of insecurity.
Jacen was now even more concerned than before.
"Seriously Tenel Ka. Look at me."
Her eyes moved from the balcony floor up to Jacen's worried face, with their normal shade of gray.
"Are you alright?"
She motioned her head in a confusing hybrid of shakes and nods.
A dry chuckle escaped Jacen, "That didn't help."
He slowly moved his right hand towards her crossed arms and wrapped his fingers around the black, cold hand, pulling it away from her chest. He could feel darkness radiating off of the arm. But the arm was mechanical... how could he feel it through the Force?
There must be something inside.
Silence.
"I saw your speech this morning."
Her eyes locked on their joined hands.
"It was very... brave of you Tenel Ka. It was for your people." He was speaking of the arm. And he was lying. He knew Tenel Ka would never want a replacement arm. Especially the mechanical abomination welded to her flesh at that moment.
"It is not what I wanted..." She started out quietly, her tone normal, looking down to the ground.
A pause.
She ripped her mechanical hand away from his grasp and looked back up, letting her instantly sharp, silver eyes bore into him, like vibro-blades. "It is what I needed. For myself and for my people."
Tenel Ka turned back to the darkness of her quarters, stalking back into it, leaving Jacen staring after her on the balcony, dumbfounded. He watched her form move towards the door and he knew she was going to call the guards.
"Wait."
She spun around, her blood red robes twirling around her as an angry look plastered itself across her face.
Silence.
The expression on Tenel Ka's face faded, as did her balance. She began to sway back and forth and she would've crashed to the ground if Jacen hadn't sped across the room. She spilled into his open arms.
Kriff, Tenel Ka. What's wrong?
Jacen lifted the dizzy Queen Mother into his arms and cradled her to his chest as he carried her over to the bed. He gently set her down, smoothing out the huge folds in her robe, and slightly leaned over her.
Her eyes swirled between silver and gray and Jacen took it as a trick of the dim moonlight spilling across her face. He stared into them, getting lost in the gathering clouds of gray.
'Jacen... I am sorry. I am sick. Something is wrong... I---'
'Shh. You need to rest.'
'What did you need to tell me?'
'It can wait.'
'No it cannot. I despise waiting.'
Tenel Ka thought back to Myrkr. Where she lost Jacen Solo. She had waited. And waited. And then felt his 'death' ...
Waiting did Tenel Ka no good.
His dark eyes traveled across her face. Her skin had turned a few shades paler since the small relapse of her illness. Her forehead was slick with a thin layer of sweat and the bags under her eyes had returned.
But, to him, she was still the most beautiful person in the galaxy.
'What is it, Jacen?'
The silver vanished completely from her eyes.
Now that he was face-to-face with her, he couldn't find the exact words to tell her how he felt. He choked up, staring down into her eyes. The eyes he always longed to have on him. He was sitting beside the woman he had grown up with. He was leaning over her, with a hand planted beside both of her shoulders, staring into the same stormy eyes that had made shadowmoths flutter in his stomach when he was younger.
He didn't know how to say it.
He didn't know what to say.
Lack of words and a whim brought his lips to hers. Without even realizing it, Jacen had pushed himself down towards her, closing his eyes and letting his heart take over.
As well as his lips.
Much to his surprise, Tenel Ka responded, bringing her right arm around his neck. The sleeve of her robe had slid down letting the flesh of her arm linger on his neck. Her warm skin was inviting; another moment passed.
Her lips opened into his as the kiss continued. Neither wanted to be the first to break it.
And neither of them would.
The loud sound outside would be the force that ripped the two apart.
Their lips tore apart as they both looked to the door.
Jacen was the first to look back and realize that he had slid over Tenel Ka, with his hands and knees placed on either side of her body. When Tenel Ka looked back, her eyes widened.
The General clumsily pulled himself off of her, in a slight panic. He had to get out of there, before he was... before they were discovered.
He could see the next headline.
"JEALOUS OLD FLAME FOUND MOLESTING QUEEN MOTHER!"
An inward scowl.
He hesitantly started backing towards the open balcony doors, staring at Tenel Ka the whole way.
"I love you," he quietly exclaimed, a smile timidly crossing his face.
Silence.
He turned and jogged towards the railing of the balcony, pulling himself over it. He began to search for footholds in the vines until he heard movement above him. He turned his head upwards, to the railing which was a few feet above his head.
A gorgeous female face stared back down at him, the backdrop of the sky illuminating her beauty.
He felt a tear fall on his cheek, from above, raining from one of her stormy gray eyes. The tear slid down behind his ear and down his neck, trailing across his skin.
"I love you too, Jacen Solo."
A broad smile instantly slammed across his face. Hearing those words spill from her mouth gave Jacen Solo the energy to climb up and down the Palace walls a thousand times more.
Her silhouette vanished from above him, as fast as it appeared. And he started down the wall, his hands searching for strong vines as he descended.
Silence.
If he could still see Tenel Ka, he would see her slightly twitching.
And he would see silver creeping back into her eyes, an icy shade of silver.
You idiot.
I love him. And there is nothing you can say or do about it.
Right. You love him.
Fact.
You won't for long.
...
You'll realize soon enough. That Jacen Solo... he is a bad man.
The poison was turning everything Tenel Ka enjoyed into a hellish nightmare. She couldn't do anything she liked or talk to anyone without that little voice nagging her on the inside.
It was ruining her.
Her left hand balled into a fist and she fell to her knees, slamming it as hard as could into the heavy stone floor of the balcony. The metal meeting the stone with a sharp smacking sound.
Her fist left an imprint in the stone.
Jacen, as he continued to scale down the Palace wall in the middle of the Hapan night, was disturbed by the sudden mutation of the Queen Mother's emotions. He tried to find an explanation in their connection, but he failed. He could only feel a wall of numbness.
Jumping the last few feet to the garden below, he turned and leaned back against the Palace wall. Tilting his head back and closing his eyes, he sighed. He could still smell her faint, intoxicating aroma and he could still taste her on his lips. He had been with the woman he loved. Finally. Kissing her. Touching her.
And now, she was to be married.
Why didn't I tell you sooner?
Silence.
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