{{ simply being loved - chapter 09
Sitting on the high rock ledge, Jacen Solo contemplated life as he stared out to the azure Hapan sea. His hair seemed to blow lethargically around his face in the breeze and it wasn't until he hugged his knees up to his chest that he realized...
Everything was moving slowly.
A whisper reached his ears, "Jacen..."
He leaned back into a pair of arms, one warm.
One freezing cold.
He returned the whisper, "Why?"
She didn't respond. She just stepped back away from him.
Jacen slowly turned his head to look at her. She was just a blur. He couldn't make out any of her features, they were all smudged. He could just see colors.
The fire red of her hair. The blur of tan skin. A huge black splotch where her left arm should be.
"Why...?"
In slow motion, he pulled himself up, spinning around towards the blur of the Queen Mother. His back was towards the crashing waves. His eyes narrowed then shut, letting different visions break through his stream of thoughts and fly through his mind.
That arm.
He could feel it on his back while they were dancing. He could see it wrapped around his neck in a quiet embrace. He could sense the onyx hand grasp his forearm. He could feel her running the slender metal fingers up and down his chest, under his shirt, suggesting a much more than friendly matter...
In slow motion, Jacen tumbled backwards off of the cliff and plunged effortlessly into the endless blue below.
"General!" One of the attendants rushed to Jacen's side.
He was crumpled up on the floor, beside the bed he was resting peacefully in moments before. Jacen was found floating in the sea behind the palace, deep asleep, almost unconscious that morning and he was rushed to the medical bay, for the second time that vacation.
"Hmm...?" Jacen groggily opened his eyes and stared up to the attendant.
He heard a wookiee chuckle.
Helping him back up into the bed, the female assistant breathed a sigh of relief, "We thought something had happened when we heard a crash just now..."
A smooth voice, laced with street talk and years of snippy remarks, "Just so happens the General had fallen out of his bed after a seemingly nasty dream."
He heard the wookiee laugh again.
The assistant left the room, to go report back to the doctors that there was no major problem.
Jacen leaned back against the pillows and rested his hands in his lap, waiting for his brandy-brown's to return to normal. His eyes finally fell into focus and in the chairs seated near the bed, he saw the source of the comment and laughter.
"How did I know it was you two?"
Lowbacca was seated in one of the chairs. He was leaning forward, with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped between his open knees. The slightest hint of a smile was plastered across his mouth.
Sitting beside him, twisted sideways in his chair, was Zekk. He had his back to one of the arms of the chair and his legs were out in front of him, his heels on the edge of the high countertop beside the chairs. He had his arms behind his head and he was leaning against Lowie's shoulder, using him as a big, furry pillow.
"'Cause you're smart?" Zekk asked.
A pause.
Zekk and Lowbacca began to cackle, "Smart?! HA!"
A weak smile formed on Jacen's face.
Leave it up to these two...
"You know we're playing with you, Jace." Zekk took his feet off of the countertop and swiveled his body around. Setting his feet on the ground, he leaned forward, almost in a mirror image of Lowie's posture. His black hair tumbled around his face, framing it in a way that reminded Jacen of Gadell.
"You okay, buddy?"
Lowie rumbled the same inquiry.
Jacen opened his mouth to answer when a winded Jaina Solo burst through the door of Jacen's medical room. The three halted their conversation and looked to her as she steadied herself on the doorframe.
"What's wrong, Jaya?" Jacen watched as his sister crashed into a chair on the other side of Lowbacca and heaved, in and out, trying to catch her breath.
All eyes were on her.
She continued to breath heavily, shaking her head back and forth.
"What?" A look of concern from Zekk.
Lowie growled and patted Jaina on the back.
"Jaina." Jacen leaned forward. "What is it?"
She continued to shake her head as she stood up, stepping over to the holoscreen that sat on a table near the bed.
She flipped it on, still shaking her head.
The room fell silent as the four saw the image.
No... no. I thought it was a dream...
Zekk's green eyes widened, "What the kriff?" He covered his open mouth with his right hand, as he leaned back in his chair.
The wookiee snarled a question that had the same context as Zekk's, although his seemed to contain more explicitives.
Jaina shook her head and sat down on the edge of Jacen's bed, watching the holo-screen.
Jacen just stared.
"My people. I know this probably comes as a shock to everyone but it has to be done. I was against it at first until Commander Vessau and I spoke about it in private last night."
There was chattering and murmuring throughout the crowd. The Queen Mother raised her arms, one being the black metal that always seemed to snake into Jacen's dreams, and quieted the crowd.
"I hope will you will not see this as a sign of my weakness. I am not weak. I am strong enough to know we need a new beginning. The war is over. I am to be married."
Jacen felt his eyes burn with tears of frustration.
"I am to produce a heir, to follow in my footsteps as the ruler of Hapes. Having this, " she raised her left arm, "will make my ability to take care of this child perfect. Efficiency is needed when taking care of a child. Especially one who will rule Hapes in the future."
Efficiency? What about love?
"That's not Tenel Ka." Jacen shut his eyes as tight as he could and clenched his fists around parts of the sheets he was seated on.
"That's the worst part..." Jaina finally spoke, "It is her."
Jacen's eyes shot up to his sister.
"I saw her this morning. With the arm. Walking down the hall. We talked, alone, for a few minutes."
Zekk bit his lip. "But how did that help you determine it was her?"
The camera zoomed in on her as she continued to speak.
Jaina pointed to the screen, at Tenel Ka's neck.
It was the gort eggshell necklace.
The one I gave her...
Jacen fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. After a few moments, he put his hands over his face and sighed.
"A child. That's an excuse. Something is up." Zekk crossed his arms as he looked from Jaina to Jacen.
Is it? My best friend... Tenel Ka. My Tenel Ka. Getting married to another man. Talking about having children. People change, Jacen. Get it through your head!
He shook his head, his hands still over his face.
People don't change like this. And how much has she changed if she's still wearing that necklace?
Jaina leaned down and lightly kissed her brother's hands that were planted over his face, "We'll leave you alone, Jacen."
She motioned to Zekk and Lowie who stood up, Zekk patting Jacen's shoulder and Lowie ruffling Jacen's hair on the way out.
After they left, Jacen slowly pulled himself to a sitting position and watched the image of Tenel Ka on the holo-screen. Her eyes had the beginnings of dark circles under them and they were an incredibly sharp silver color, instead of the normal stormy gray.
I know Gadell has something to do with that arm. There's no way Tenel Ka would just suddenly get a replacement arm, not for anything.
He felt a stirring in their connection. And he listened. And replied.
As she stood up there and spoke to her people, she was absent. She didn't know what was coming out of her mouth.
Excuses. Words. Lies.
Her mind was wandering. She was swimming around in the Force, trying to gauge her friend's reactions. And for some reason, she was happy to see them all shocked and confused.
Especially Jacen Solo.
no... this is not supposed to happen. where am i? i... i... jacen?
She couldn't think straight.
The poison was seeping into Tenel Ka. Seeping into her system. Pumped through the arm.
Seeping into her mind, breaking her thoughts in half.
She knew the connection was still open, so she tried to tell him.
She tried to tell him anything.
'Jacen... I... I...'
'Tenel Ka, what's wrong?'
'Jacen... Please... I am not...'
She could feel herself slipping. Away from Jacen Solo. Away from her friends. Away from her life.
Away from reality.
From the light side.
Finishing her speech, to the crowd's clapping, she turned and sped as quickly as possible off stage. Gadell turned to follow her off, but she was too fast. He instead turned and bowed towards the people of Hapes.
Tenel Ka's people. His people.
The Queen Mother ran towards her quarters, the chartreuse silk of her dress flowing out behind her as she ran. She shut her silver eyes, trying to shake the sharpness from them. The arm felt normal to her for some reason, like she had it for all of her life. The way it moved back and forth as she slowed to a jog.
Part of Tenel Ka wanted to rush to the medical bay, into Jacen's arms. To safety and love.
The other part was snarling at her. Snarling with rage and jealousy, telling her Jacen Solo didn't care about her. Jacen Solo was worthless. He didn't deserve her.
And that part was growing, taking over the Queen Mother of Hapes.
And she did not know how to stop it.
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