{{ simply being loved - chapter 08
The next morning was calm. A breeze blew through the open windows of the Palace and there wasn't a cloud in the sky.
Calm until Gadell Vessau woke up. He had fallen asleep the night before beside Tenel Ka, in her bed. After finding her in the grove, he took her back to her room and made sure she was sleeping alright, only to crash beside her, snoring quietly.
The Queen Mother was running a fever and when Gadell opened his ice blue eyes and spotted beads of sweat all down his fiancée's face, he bolted out of the room at a full on run.
"The Queen Mother has a fever," he found the medics, who rushed to her room after hearing the news.
They went to take care of her and she woke up by lunchtime. But the fever still raged on.
Jacen woke up late, too late for breakfast.
He was sprawled out on his bed, his sheets tangled around his right leg. Random white petals were lying all over, some in his hair, some on the pillow, some on his bed. His CorSec jacket was nuzzled under his left arm and he was lying in his white shirt and black pants.
He had gotten in the night before and pulled his boots off then he fell asleep in the middle of trying to undo his CorSec jacket.
He sat up, kicking the sheets off of his leg. He felt his back crack. His neck ached. His head was pounding.
Jacen Solo was a mess.
A yawn escaped his lips, he tried to stifle it, but it was too strong.
"Jacen?" A pounding on the door.
Stumbling over, he pressed the button, letting the door slide open. And he was greeted by a female mirror image of himself.
"Hey Jaya." Jacen leaned against the doorframe, feeling a little dizzy.
"Jacen," Jaina pushed his shoulder. "Wake up, get ready. Lunchtime. Why were you still sleeping?"
He looked at the his sister, shaking his head clear of the remnants of sleep-induced insanity.
"What happened this morning? Anything?" Jacen referred to news of the Queen Mother or incidents in the garden, but Jaina stayed silent.
Guess not.
Jacen was beginning to think the whole thing was a dream until she crossed her arms and nervously shifted from one foot to the other.
Guess so?
"What?" Jacen pushed himself off of the doorframe.
"Tenel Ka is running a high fever."
Jacen's face scrunched into a look of disbelief.
"The medics don't know if it's just a bug or if something happened... but she's going to be at lunch, along with Gadell, whose in charge while Tenel Ka is sick."
Jacen slammed his fist into the doorframe and spun around, wandering back towards his bed.
"What?" Jaina stepped into his room. The guest quarters were almost as incredible as the rooms belonging to the Court. Large rooms, high ceilings, stone walls, vines everywhere. Jacen's room had a green color scheme going on, with the carpets and the cloth draped on the walls and Jaina was sure Jacen didn't mind, seeing as how green was one of his favorite colors.
He shook his head, "Nothing."
She arched a skeptical eyebrow.
"Just... just wait for me here. We'll go to lunch together."
Jacen pulled his shirt off over his head as he jogged towards the refresher.
"Jasa."
He slowed down to walk.
"Are you okay? I wanted to ask you how you felt after the marriage announcement last night... but you were gone."
Stopping in his tracks and drew in a deep breath. Jaina could see his shoulders move up and down as he breathed.
Everything was still.
"I..." Another deep breath. "I'm fine."
Jaina didn't believe him. But she didn't want to prod at him anymore for the moment. He seemed too stressed.
She added quietly, "Alright. Go on."
Jacen entered the refresher, quietly letting the door shut and Jaina sat down on the edge of her brother's bed as she heard the shower start. Her eyes narrowed as she looked down at the bed.
Where'd these petals come from?
The twins walked to lunch together in silence.
Entering the hall, they were greeted by some guards who motioned towards the long table.
Jacen saw many people at the table. His parents, his aunt and uncle, Kyp, Danni, Tahiri, Jag, Lowie, Zekk, everyone he knew. Everyone who was invited to stay on Hapes for vacationing time after the ceremonies.
He saw Gadell at the head of the table with a catatonic Tenel Ka seated beside him.
Jaina squeezed his arm and went to take a seat beside Jag. Jacen sat between Zekk and Danni, with a perfect view of Tenel Ka.
She was staring at him.
Her face was pale and he could see it glistening with a light sheen of sweat. Her hair was pulled back into a loose braid and her eyes had visible bags under them. She was dressed in a flowing, sleeveless dress of deep blue. It looked light and airy, more casual than royal. Strands of copper were hanging out of the braid and in her face and he could see them moving.
Towards her face, away from her face; her deep breaths causing them to float back and forth.
She wouldn't take her eyes off of him.
Normally he would revel in this kind of attention from Tenel Ka, he would swim in it. But now, she was just staring at him lifelessly and it was beginning to frighten him.
Jacen broke his gaze away from her as Danni gently touched his arm.
"Jacen? You okay?"
He looked over to the scientist.
"You seem a bit frazzled."
Jacen leaned back in his chair, hiding his head behind Zekk's, trying to escape Tenel Ka's gaze, "I don't know what's wrong with me."
Danni glanced up to the Queen Mother then looked back to Jacen, "Is it the marriage?"
Danni Quee, in her time spent with Jacen Solo, learned how to read him like a book. And she learned how to do the same with herself. During a mission to Zonama Sekot with Jacen, Tekli, Saba, Luke and Mara, Danni thought she had feelings for Jacen.
It turned out those feelings were different than what she first thought they were.
She loved Jacen Solo.
But time taught her that it was the kind of love that siblings feel for one another. Being an only child, she realized that Jacen, Jaina and Tahiri were like the little brothers and sisters she never had. They were her family.
Jacen's lips flattened into a line of confusion as he gazed over to her, "Part of it. I don't know what else is wrong..."
Danni threw a glance back to the Queen Mother, who was still staring in Jacen's direction. Jacen had told Danni many stories about the adventures he had during his days at the Academy and even though Danni had only met Tenel Ka a few times, she still felt like she knew the Queen Mother inside out, thanks to Jacen Solo.
"She's got a pretty hefty fever. If you ask me, I think she was poisoned."
A past vision flashed by Jacen's eyes. Blood spilling from Tenel Ka's lips as she sipped a drink.
"Huh?" Jacen's eyes widened.
"Well... think about it. The perfect opportunity was last night, drinks were being poured all over that room."
"But they would expect something like that, wouldn't they?"
"I'm sure they did."
"Then why don't the medics suspect poison?"
"They've found no trace of it."
"Then it can't be poison."
"My dear boy," Danni giggled. "Have you learned nothing from me about science?"
Jacen just glared.
"Things dissolve. I'm sure it's gone by now, if there was any to begin with."
A few moments of silence floated by.
"Hey Danni, try those berries. They were---" Kyp's voice faded out of Jacen's range as Kyp reached over and pointed to a bowl of rich berries by Danni's plate.
She gave one last nod to Jacen and turned to her other side, where Kyp Durron was sitting; chowing on any kind of food he could get his hands on.
Jacen leaned forward again, letting his brandy-brown eyes land on the copper-headed Queen Mother.
She was still staring at him.
'Are you feeling alright?'
Tenel Ka's connection was still open.
She heard him.
As he spoke those words to her through the Force, her left eye twitched.
She placed her right hand on the edge of the table and pushed her chair away from it.
And standing up, she walked out of the hall, quickly and quietly.
Gadell had turned his head to watch her go then he finished up his drink and stood up, excusing himself. He followed her.
Jacen wanted to find her and ask her in person if she was alright. There was something more personal about being able to speak out, instead of just using their minds to communicate.
The General drew in a deep breath.
That was the last time he saw Tenel Ka all day.
Night had fallen on the Palace. Jacen Solo had spent all day meandering around the hallways, sitting in his room and staring aimlessly out the window. He thought he could deal with Tenel Ka's marriage, but every time he thought about it, he wanted to tear something up. The thought of the marriage was gnawing at him, feeding off of every ounce of coherency he had left.
He had to find out what was really wrong with her and actually tell her face-to-face how he felt and what was going on with his dreams.
Jacen now stood by the Queen Mother's bedroom door and listened to the Queen Mother whimper softly. Sickening images of another man, especially Gadell, touching Tenel Ka in any way past friendly bled into his mind. Half of him wanted to crawl under a rock and die and the other half wanted to barge into the room, strangle the life out of Gadell and whisk Tenel Ka away to some other galaxy, far away from Gadell's prying eyes and busy hands.
No. He couldn't let angry thoughts cloud his mind. Not now. No slipping to the dark side.
He heard another quiet moan and sighed.
At least she's happy.
A sneer crossed his face as he turned and ran down the hallway, away from the thing that was beginning to drive him mad.
He mumbled to himself quietly as he ran, "She's happy. Tenel Ka is happy. Stop it, Jacen. Stop it. Stop it."
Jacen didn't know where he was going, but he was getting there fast.
Through the Garden and out to the water, Jacen Solo stopped. He stared out to the glimmering sea behind the Palace. Reef Fortress was across the way; he could faintly see the small outline of it in the moonlight.
That's where we went after the accident at the Academy...
Jacen was blinded with his own pain; he couldn't feel Tenel Ka's.
"Have to do something. Get your mind off of her. Come on come on come on." Jacen continued to stammer to himself.
He pulled himself up a medium sized rock ledge, his same set of casual black pants and white shirt not protecting him from the heavy breeze. He had changed before, thinking he would go to sleep early.
Now sleep was the farthest thing from his mind.
He sat up on the rock ledge, hugging his knees to his chest.
"Think about anything but her. Anything but her."
He looked to the sky, silently begging for something to turn his mind to.
A few clouds lingered beside one of the moons.
"Hm. Clouds. Clouds... rain... storms. Storms."
A growl sounded as he thought of Tenel Ka's gray eyes.
"I can't win, can I?"
The rocks scratched at his bare feet as he stood up.
"Anything but her."
Diving head first into the dark waters wasn't the smartest thing to do at that time of night, but Jacen Solo wasn't in the right mind frame to do anything smart. And he accepted that as he swam upwards and broke the surface of the water, drawing in a deep breath. The water near the Palace was cold and void of any significant life. Jacen knew this from a past conversation with Tenel Ka.
He looked up to the rock ledge he had dived off of. The way it towered over him... he could see Tenel Ka clinging to the edge and he could see himself... falling. He could see the look of pure shock and panic on her face as she couldn't catch him.
Cloud City...
Another growl. He shook his head back and forth, drops of water flying from his damp hair.
A few moments passed. Jacen shut his eyes as he let himself float on his back.
More minutes passed. Closing his eyes was one of the most depressing things he had ever felt, as shadows of the past showed themselves once again.
Meeting Tenel Ka for the first time. Telling her the first joke. Her helping him avoid a broken ankle. The duel. The unexpected kiss. The fall from Cloud City and the hug he received afterwards. The necklace. The mission to Myrkr. The two of them on the verge of sharing one last kiss before Jacen was ripped away from life and thrust into an alien environment. The knighting ceremony. The lost contact...
A lifetime passed.
If Tenel Ka was in any state to feel out people in the Force, she didn't have the time.
She was in too much pain.
She would've felt Jacen's Force presence speeding away from the other side of the door. Through their connection, she would've felt his anger, his hurt.
But what was happening to her hurt too much.
Gadell was straddling her poisoned body, he had her right arm pinned down and where her left arm ended, he was crudely installing a black metallic limb. Throwing tools on the ground as he finished with them, he pulled himself up off of the Queen Mother and watched as her blood spread across the sheets. He had shoved the top of the arm into where her left ended and plated a piece of metal around the section where the organic and the mechanic met.
She whimpered and tried to scream, and fight back. But nothing was working, her body felt disjointed... and she couldn't find the voice to yell, let alone speak. Her eyes wouldn't focus on anything and soon they drifted shut, with a lack of strength.
And the next thing she knew, it was morning.
| 