{{ simply being loved - chapter 04
Her hair was longer than he remembered it, a bit straighter, framing her face and snaking almost down to her waist. Jacen observed this as the Queen Mother spoke to the crowd of people seated in front of her. Her frigid eyes seemed to bore into each and every person in the chamber, like she was learning their deepest secrets just by staring at them.
Jacen Solo felt bad for not really listening to what she was saying, but he was busy taking in what he had missed. From her, from everyone.
But mostly from her.
Earlier, he had seen and spoken to many people. Jagged Fel, Tahiri Veila, Alema Rar, Lowbacca, Zekk, Tesar and Saba Sebatyne, Gilad Pellaeon, Danni Quee, Tekli...
Tenel Ka had to stay in her quarters until she was announced to speak.
I bet she hates that.
He continued to stare at her.
Jacen was seated in the fourth row of the chamber, on Tenel Ka's right side, behind rows of Jedi, Jedi Masters and Admirals of every type of military unit imaginable. On his right side was Tahiri Veila, dressed in a dark blue gown, almost black. And on his left, clad in that favorite red dress of hers, Jaina Solo. In front of him, Jacen noticed Zekk's mess of black hair and beside that was Lowie's even messier form.
Of course, both of them were tidied up for the ceremonies.
Jacen looked back to the stage and saw that Gadell had begun speaking.
He leaned over to his sister and rested his chin on her shoulder, hissing into her ear, "How long has Gadell been talking?"
Jaina tilted her head and whispered back, "I'd say about five minutes. He's kind of handsome."
Jag, who was seated on the other side of Jaina, leaned into the conversation, "I heard that."
Jaina turned and threw a snicker at Jag as Jacen pulled away from her and slouched down in his chair. He would sit properly for the Queen Mother, but not Gadell. There was just something about him...
"...if you would all please adjourn to the Gardens, you can observe the memorials placed for the people lost in the war. And on behalf of the Queen Mother, the Hapan Court and the Hapan Fleets, I would like to thank you all again for coming."
Commander Vessau nodded once and turned to the Queen Mother, who was standing behind him. She started off of the stage, followed by Gadell and the Court, as the crowd seated in the chamber arose and began filing out, towards the gardens.
"Jacen, want to come with us?" Jaina inquired, as her right hand latched into Jag's belt to keep him from going anywhere.
Jacen watched as Tenel Ka vanished, "Huh?" He shook himself out of a daze and turned to his sister, "Oh yeah. I do."
Jaina eyed Tahiri who stood up, fumbling with a scarf on her dress, "Tahiri?"
"Of course," she said as she tried to bat the scarf out of the way. Tahiri would never be used to formal wear.
Jaina chuckled, "Then let's go." She would've asked Lowie and Zekk also, but they were long gone, probably not wanting to hang out in the stuffy atmosphere any longer than they had to.
The four exited the chamber and followed the crowd to the Fountain Palace's gardens.
"I'll catch up with you guys later," Jacen clapped Jag on the shoulder.
Jag, Jaina and Tahiri continued around the gardens, in the order the memorials were placed, as were all the other people.
Jacen had to move ahead.
"Don't get lost, Jasa." His sister watched him dash off through the gardens, the chains on his belt dangling wildly.
Jacen was wearing a snapped up, dressy version of the old Corellian CorSec uniform, much to his Dad's glee. Seeing his oldest son in anything with Corellian bloodstripes on it made Han Solo one happy man. Jacen had found it awhile back on the Falcon, along with many other odd things that Han didn't remember he had. Jacen cleaned it up a bit out of boredom one day, adding some things to it.
And now he decided it was time to show it off.
Some people still seemed to look at Jacen Solo as the weakest of the three Solo children. Always questioning what was going on, worrying about things...
It was time to remind people that he was half Corellian.
And everyone knew what Corellians were like.
Jacen stopped at the entrance to the grove. The ceremonies inside had taken most of the afternoon and now night had fallen on the Palace. The seven moons gave off enough light to illuminate most of the gardens. Soft artificial lights were placed in the sections with the canopy, like the grove.
Come on. This has to be done.
Taking a deep breath and entering though the archway of foliage, Jacen expected to end up in a empty grove.
It was empty of living, breathing flesh.
But the undercurrents in the Force almost knocked Jacen off of his feet.
Mostly covered in a canopy of lush green vines and leaves, the gardens around the Fountain Palace were huge. There were many pathways between and around all the different kinds of plants, all of which were magnificent in their own ways.
Jacen Solo was in awe. Jaina had heard about the grove from Tenel Ka and she had told him about it. They had set aside this section of the gardens for this special purpose and Jacen had to see it with his own eyes.
The circular grove, with walls of vines, was a memorial for the Jedi Strike Team.
Eight holographic beaming faces, of the fallen, stared back at Jacen Solo, full of life, full of the Force. The undercurrents were theirs. The flowers that grew and bloomed around each portrait were a off-white color. And as anyone moved up to touch them, they changed colors.
First, along Jacen's left was Ulaha Kore. As he stepped closer to her flickering portrait, her could hear echoes of the song the Bith played before she died.
Moving on, he came across, Jovan Drark - a serious Rodian, who before the Myrkr mission, was off on Bilbringi learning about the Yuuzhan Vong with Tenel Ka.
Third and fourth belonged to Krasov and Bela Hara, respectively. With Tesar, the three of them were unstoppable. When one alone went down, the others tried to stay afoot but only Tesar made it out alive.
Eryl Besa was next. She was a brash girl, but caring when it came down to the other members of the team. Raynar Thul was shattered when she died.
Raynar Thul. Jacen remembered him too well. Always playing the bully at the Academy, Raynar was never one to be on Jacen's good side in those days. But now he would love to just sit down and talk with him.
Moving to the next portrait. A girl with loosly braided copper hair, smiling slightly...
What?
Her portrait flickered.
Tenel Ka?
The flowers around it turned turquoise then shriveled up and fell to Jacen's feet.
He closed his eyes for a few moments, then reopened them.
No flowers on the ground, no portrait of Tenel Ka.
I thought I was looking at... what's going on?
He was still staring at Raynar's portrait. Shaking his head, he moved on.
As he meandered up, the flowers turned yellow... Ganner Rhysode. More aptly named, The Ganner. He didn't get killed on Myrkr, but he was a member of the strike team. Jacen spent time with Ganner before he got killed on Yuuzhan'tar, and it almost crushed him when he realized Ganner had really changed his ways, like he said he was going to... only to lose his life afterwards. Jacen ran a hand along the yellow petals, remembering Ganner and his valiant death.
A sigh escaped Jacen's lips as he moved on.
Last portrait. The petals turned from white to a rich violet.
It hurt Jacen to stare into those ocean blue eyes. The innocent smile, the mop of dirty blonde hair.
Jacen missed sparring with him, Jacen missed messing with him the way older brothers do, he even missed the arguing.
He missed Anakin Solo.
Letting his arms fall to his sides, Jacen began to pick at the bloodstripes on his pants. He always got fidgety when he was alone and feeling low.
"General Solo."
Wiping the beginning's of tears out of his eyes, he heard the clicking of heels on the hard ground and he was instantly pulled into a one-armed hug.
He heard a faint whisper in his ear, "You should not have come here alone."
"I'm not alone anymore," his words were muffled by her hair.
"Technically you never were, I believe." Tenel Ka looked around the grove, at the light of the Hapan moons streaming through the spaces of the vine canopy. She referred to the life pulsing around them, probably the mischievous barabels or Anakin spying on his big brother. They were all here.
Jacen cracked a smile as he pulled his face away from the spot where her neck met her shoulder, "You're right. They're all around this place."
Strolling over to Anakin's smiling face, the Queen Mother took her right hand and made her way around to each portrait, delicatly running her fingers across each flower, changing them all to the hue of the fallen's lightsabers. Jacen watched her, already in her gown for the banquet, she looked like nothing he'd ever seen before. The gown was of the purest Hapan silk, it was a dark viridian color. Her hair was down, straightened, with little strands of Gallinore's gems woven in. The crown she had on her head was a more subdued version of the one she wore during speeches, a small tiara of green gems. Her face, which was usually void of any makeup at all, was now done up slightly. Her eyelids were dusted with a green shimmer and her lips were a rich shade of red, the royal Hapan color.
The grove was an incredible idea, in Jacen's eyes.
"Did you think of the idea for this memorial?"
She nodded, "We lost many things on Myrkr. People, information, innocence..."
Tenel Ka stopped, admiring Ulaha's picture, then turned to meet Jacen's gaze.
"...chances."
"Chances for what?" Jacen crossed his arms, making his way to the center of the grove.
"Many things. I remember a few particular instances."
Jacen knew exactly what she was talking about.
The kiss.
"What do you plan to do about it, your worship?"
"There is nothing I can do. The past is the past. I cannot change that."
"But you can change the future."
Tenel Ka narrowed her blustery eyes and advanced over to Jacen, "Fact."
They stood, facing each other for a few silent, awkward moments, inching forward. Jacen had that slow-as-bacta feeling he was pretty accustomed to.
But he knew that this was no dream.
He could hear the moment being ruined.
'...Jacen Solo, go before your quarry escapes...'
"Your highness? Your people await..."
Tenel Ka reached up and put her right hand on his chest, pushing herself back from him.
It was her comlink.
Jacen could've kicked himself.
"I... I have to go. The banquet... it is starting soon."
Jacen was so numb, he could only nod.
And as fast and Tenel Ka had arrived she was gone, with a swish of forest green silk.
"You idiot! You had the perfect chance!"
Jacen spun around, stumbling over his own feet, "Anakin?!"
Who was he kidding? Anakin wasn't there. But Jacen swore as he glanced at everyone's pictures again before he left, that their smiles were broader and even more playful. And exiting through the archway, he could hear echoes of sly giggles from the grove.
A remorseful smile crossed the face of Jacen as he heard them.
"Jacen! There you are!" Jaina called from his right.
"Hey..." Jacen watched as his barefoot sister padded up to him.
"...this it?" Jaina pointed a finger towards the grove.
A nod from her twin brother.
"The banquet is starting soon. I'll have to check it out afterwards."
"You should. It's beautiful," Jacen admired. "But let's get a move on. We don't want to miss this banquet. I'm in the mood to dance."
"Yeah, too bad your horrible at it," Jaina grabbed her brother's wrist and led him along the pathway. "Jag and Tahiri went on in. So we'll meet up with them in there."
"Where are your shoes?"
As she began to relay the story about how her feet hurt, Jacen threw one last glance towards the grove and as he did, he heard a voice in his head...
'Go tell her, Jacen.'
Thanks Anakin.
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